I haven't been posting much lately. I've had a lot going on personally. Lots of self-evaluation. I won't go into details here. I think that I will come out of this valley with a deeper knowledge of God. I'm hoping that I will be a better do-er of his Word, and not only a hear-er.
I feel like Jonah. He refused to obey God and ran the opposite way. Then God in his graciousness didn't let him die in the ocean. He sent a fish to swallow him, so that Jonah would see God again. God didn't let Jonah stay in his sin, he gave him another opportunity to share the gospel with Ninevah. Jonah repented and recognized Gods sovereignty. He shared the gospel, then fell back into his angry, self-centered thinking. The Lord gave him a plant fr shade, then took it away. He was helping Jonah get out of his comfort zone. He did this first by getting him to go Ninevah, then again when he took away the shady plant. To Jonah these things looked like his personal sufferings. But in reality, God was teaching him to line up his will with Gods, be obedient to God, and to recognize his sovereignty. He was showing Jonah a better way. A way more satisfying, that would bring love and joy, rather than anger and discontent.
I have been amazed at how The Lord has been blessing me through this time of doubt and conviction. I have been like Jonah, preferring my sin over true satisfaction in Christ. But God is still drawing me to Him because he knows that is what's best for me even when I don't want it. One of my undeserved blessings is my Life Group girls. They encourage me so much and I learn so much through our discussions. On top of that, fellowship with them is wonderful! I feel so lucky to know them!
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