Here's the song Rivers by the band Atlas. Check it out!
I just found this sweet song last week! The main singer's wife taught me government and economics in highschool! So... you could say I'm pretty tight with the band. I also know one of the guitar players from my junior high years. Super random. It made this cool find even cooler. I'm excited to see them in concert one of these days. Enjoy!
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Instagram Favorites pt.1 (April & May 2013)
Here are some of my favorite instagrams all in one place!
Posted by { youngcreature } on May 5th, 2013.
Instagram posts weekend projects and this weekend was silhouettes. I thought this entry by youngcreature was awesome! I enjoy low down shots and the beautiful sky behind their silhouettes is lovely!
Posted by { shonlowe } on May 3rd, 2013.
Favorite part has to be the subject, canoeing. Man do I love it. Also diggin the backpack, they are clearly prepared for some good times. And bringing a blanket on the canoe looks so cozy. I am gonna miss being at River Ranch this summer and canoeing for miles with only the best of people around me. Intern canoe trip? I think yes!
Posted by { denisebovee } on May 2nd, 2013.
Cutest thing ever! That's just adorable that her dog is cuddling with a teddybear. And look at the dogs sweet wrinkly face. Am I right? Sheesh. Too much.
Posted by { chaseblood } on May 1st, 2013.
Here's another cool shot I found in chaseblood's feed. I love the blurred out trees and how it's shot from down low. It might be pavement, but it looks like water almost. It makes me think of a certain area on Lake Quivira where my grandparents live. We would drive their boat into a thin windy river-like stretch of water with a picnic basket full of fresh fruit, and whatever else we wanted for breakfast. Then we would tie the boat to a tree and eat breakfast by the tall trees listening to the birds chirping and the water hitting against the boat. I can't wait for them to be living in their home again and for their boat to be fixed! I'm ready for another breakfast on the lake!
Posted by { melissagreenmachine } on May 1st, 2013.
I really enjoy these simply clothing shots. Also a big fan of denim shirts. I don't know what makes this picture spectacular, but I really love it.
Posted by { chaseblood } on April 29th, 2013.
I just case across this dude the other day. He has a great feed! I can't get over the orange in this sky, over the mountains, and on the water. Oh to have been there! Expect more favorites from this guy.
Posted by { shonlowe } on April 30th, 2013.
Man, so many great pictures from April 30th! There have been lots of awesome instagrams lately, and I'm a little behind in posting them. This one is one of the best though! The fog, the pine trees, the stump, the yellow beanie, great shot. I'm a fan.
Posted by { brenna_marriie } on April 30th, 2013.
This photo makes me think of how small I am in the grand scheme of things just like this person is so small in comparison to the cliffside. It is humbling and God magnifying. I think this picture is really powerful. For me personally, it evokes a lot of thoughts. So many thoughts that I gave it it's own blog post which can be found here.
Posted by { dansmoe } on April 30th, 2013.
This reminds me of going to the sand dunes in Colorado. So many good memories there! Plus, it's a great shot. Diggin the blue sky, the flying sand, and the hip desert vibes.
Posted by { djaeoutlaw } on April 27th, 2013.
I love the deep forest vibe. I'd definitely adventure there.
Posted by { lindleymarie } on April 23rd, 2013.
I'm a big fan of kid pictures. My mom is the nursery director at our church, so I get to work with kids of all ages often! I love it so much. I think kids are the bees knees, and so photogenic! I wish I was as comfortable in my own skin as kids are. What a fun and simple period of life. Enjoy it youngins! Non-youngins, embrace your inner child. Anticipate more instagrams of these little ones.
Friday, April 26, 2013
Revelation Ramblings
"The rest of mankind, who were not killed by these plagues, did not repent of the works of their hands nor give up worshipping demons and idols of gold and silver and bronze and stone and wood, which cannot see or hear or walk, nor did they repent of their murders of their sorceries or their sexual immorality or their thefts." -Revelation 9:20-21
In the previous two chapters of revelation, there are seven angels that are blowing trumpets which are causing plagues on eath such as fire from the sky and locusts that will torture people for five months without letting them die. Then before this passage an angel comes to kill. At the end of the plagues, one third of mankind is gone. Then I read the verses at the top. They still didn't repent! I couldn't believe it. If earth was being destroyed, I'd been stung repeatedly by huge locusts for five months, my friends were now dead, I think I'd be quick to repent and beg for mercy!
But this passage shows how lost we are. Apart from Christ revealing himself to us, we really don't see him. We still choose sin that leads to self destruction rather than give our life to Christ who will only give us good things. It's amazing to see just how lost, blind, and depraved we are.
In this depressing passage about lost souls, there is hope. The hope is that if you truly desire Christ, then that is clearly not of your own doing! God has started a work in you and he promises to complete it. By truly desiring Christ, I don't mean that you read your Bible everyday, love sharing the gospel, or go to church every Sunday. Those are great things, and we should do them as a result of our love for Christ and desire to know him better and share that with others. But truly desiring Christ means that you want Christ or even if you want to want Christ. That is something unique to a regenerate heart. The people described in these verses do not want to want Christ. They have no desire to know him. They might have a desire to go to church because it makes them feel better about themselves, but you must desire truth because it is truth, not because of personal gain. We will sin and there are days, even weeks, where my life doesn't represent Christ well. And because of the work God is doing in my heart, I desire to repent and change to be more like Christ. Assurance of salvation is in the genuine desire for Christ, not in how clean our lives are. If I were to take this idea as an excuse to continue in sin because I have assurance of salvation, then I wouldn't truly be desiring Christ.
This is something I learned from my mentor, Laura, when I was overwhelmed with the sin in my life and began questioning whether I was really saved. It took a while for me to accept what she was saying. But it was so comforting and freeing to hear her say that the fact I even care about the sin in my life is evidence of the Holy Spirit at work in me. I still struggle with this idea from time to time when my sin seems too big, but I always come back to this lesson I learned from Laura years ago. This passage stood out to me because it clearly displays the difference between regenerate and unregenerate hearts, which reinforced my beliefs on this subject.
In the previous two chapters of revelation, there are seven angels that are blowing trumpets which are causing plagues on eath such as fire from the sky and locusts that will torture people for five months without letting them die. Then before this passage an angel comes to kill. At the end of the plagues, one third of mankind is gone. Then I read the verses at the top. They still didn't repent! I couldn't believe it. If earth was being destroyed, I'd been stung repeatedly by huge locusts for five months, my friends were now dead, I think I'd be quick to repent and beg for mercy!
But this passage shows how lost we are. Apart from Christ revealing himself to us, we really don't see him. We still choose sin that leads to self destruction rather than give our life to Christ who will only give us good things. It's amazing to see just how lost, blind, and depraved we are.
In this depressing passage about lost souls, there is hope. The hope is that if you truly desire Christ, then that is clearly not of your own doing! God has started a work in you and he promises to complete it. By truly desiring Christ, I don't mean that you read your Bible everyday, love sharing the gospel, or go to church every Sunday. Those are great things, and we should do them as a result of our love for Christ and desire to know him better and share that with others. But truly desiring Christ means that you want Christ or even if you want to want Christ. That is something unique to a regenerate heart. The people described in these verses do not want to want Christ. They have no desire to know him. They might have a desire to go to church because it makes them feel better about themselves, but you must desire truth because it is truth, not because of personal gain. We will sin and there are days, even weeks, where my life doesn't represent Christ well. And because of the work God is doing in my heart, I desire to repent and change to be more like Christ. Assurance of salvation is in the genuine desire for Christ, not in how clean our lives are. If I were to take this idea as an excuse to continue in sin because I have assurance of salvation, then I wouldn't truly be desiring Christ.
This is something I learned from my mentor, Laura, when I was overwhelmed with the sin in my life and began questioning whether I was really saved. It took a while for me to accept what she was saying. But it was so comforting and freeing to hear her say that the fact I even care about the sin in my life is evidence of the Holy Spirit at work in me. I still struggle with this idea from time to time when my sin seems too big, but I always come back to this lesson I learned from Laura years ago. This passage stood out to me because it clearly displays the difference between regenerate and unregenerate hearts, which reinforced my beliefs on this subject.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Big God Little Mo
I'm gonna get a little philosophical today. In my philosophy class, we are currently discussing arguments for and against the existence of God. We started with pro-God arguments such as the Kalam Cosmological Argument, the Watchmaker Argument, and the Fine Tuning Argument. Today we started learning the arguments against God. We started with the Problem of Evil. Here it is.
Hume's Argument from Evil
1) Either God is not able to prevent evil or he is not willing to prevent it.
2) If he is not able, then he is not omnipotent (all-powerful).
3) If he is not willing, then he is not all good.
4) Therefore, either God is not omnipotent or he is not all good.
5) If God is either not omnipotent or not all good, then God does not exist.
6) Therefore, God does not exist.
Chapter two of Tim Keller's book, The Reason for God talks about suffering. Here is a quote from that chapter. "Tucked away within the assertion that the world is full of pointless evil is a hidden premise, namely, that if evil appears pointless to me, then it must be pointless."
This is huge! If God is who he says he is, couldn't he do something that appears to be evil from our perspective, but in reality leads to something glorious and good. It makes me think of parenting and how my parents didn't let me eat icecream for breakfast. As a seven year old, my parents may have seemed powerful, but certainly not all good. All good to me may have been parents who let their kids do whatever they please. But now I see that spoiling kids is not what is best for them and I look back and am thankful for the way my parents raised me. This analogy is maybe too simple though. I realize that much greater evils happen in this world that aren't as easy to explain away. I still believe God is big enough to have reasons that I can't comprehend.
Then I started thinking about how small and insignificant I am to even question God's goodness. Thinking about how small I am reminded me of how stinkin huge God is. He holds this complex world in his hand and is not the slightest bit worried about the evil in it. He has it under control. If God is who he says he is, then he has a purpose for everything. In the end, he will be glorified. And for some crazy reason beyond my understanding, I get to intimately know this God.
This reminded me of a passage from Romans 8.
20 But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, why did you make me like this? 21 Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some poverty for special purpose and some for common use?
I encourage you to check out this passage in context. It was too long for me to put here. But here's a link to Romans 8:14-29
Who am I to question God's justice and goodness? And who am I to dwell in his justice and goodness? Who am I to be loved by you?
I walked back from class with a new joy. Rather than dwelling on my insignificance and unworthiness, I will walk with joy knowing I am saved by God's grace alone. It's humbling that I can't comprehend what good can come from seemingly pointless evil. but God can orchestrate it all. God is all powerful and all good, even when we don't see it. And he loves us even when we question him. Mind blowing.
Hume's Argument from Evil
1) Either God is not able to prevent evil or he is not willing to prevent it.
2) If he is not able, then he is not omnipotent (all-powerful).
3) If he is not willing, then he is not all good.
4) Therefore, either God is not omnipotent or he is not all good.
5) If God is either not omnipotent or not all good, then God does not exist.
6) Therefore, God does not exist.
Chapter two of Tim Keller's book, The Reason for God talks about suffering. Here is a quote from that chapter. "Tucked away within the assertion that the world is full of pointless evil is a hidden premise, namely, that if evil appears pointless to me, then it must be pointless."
This is huge! If God is who he says he is, couldn't he do something that appears to be evil from our perspective, but in reality leads to something glorious and good. It makes me think of parenting and how my parents didn't let me eat icecream for breakfast. As a seven year old, my parents may have seemed powerful, but certainly not all good. All good to me may have been parents who let their kids do whatever they please. But now I see that spoiling kids is not what is best for them and I look back and am thankful for the way my parents raised me. This analogy is maybe too simple though. I realize that much greater evils happen in this world that aren't as easy to explain away. I still believe God is big enough to have reasons that I can't comprehend.
Then I started thinking about how small and insignificant I am to even question God's goodness. Thinking about how small I am reminded me of how stinkin huge God is. He holds this complex world in his hand and is not the slightest bit worried about the evil in it. He has it under control. If God is who he says he is, then he has a purpose for everything. In the end, he will be glorified. And for some crazy reason beyond my understanding, I get to intimately know this God.
This reminded me of a passage from Romans 8.
20 But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, why did you make me like this? 21 Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some poverty for special purpose and some for common use?
I encourage you to check out this passage in context. It was too long for me to put here. But here's a link to Romans 8:14-29
Who am I to question God's justice and goodness? And who am I to dwell in his justice and goodness? Who am I to be loved by you?
I walked back from class with a new joy. Rather than dwelling on my insignificance and unworthiness, I will walk with joy knowing I am saved by God's grace alone. It's humbling that I can't comprehend what good can come from seemingly pointless evil. but God can orchestrate it all. God is all powerful and all good, even when we don't see it. And he loves us even when we question him. Mind blowing.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Like Jonah like Mo
I haven't been posting much lately. I've had a lot going on personally. Lots of self-evaluation. I won't go into details here. I think that I will come out of this valley with a deeper knowledge of God. I'm hoping that I will be a better do-er of his Word, and not only a hear-er.
I feel like Jonah. He refused to obey God and ran the opposite way. Then God in his graciousness didn't let him die in the ocean. He sent a fish to swallow him, so that Jonah would see God again. God didn't let Jonah stay in his sin, he gave him another opportunity to share the gospel with Ninevah. Jonah repented and recognized Gods sovereignty. He shared the gospel, then fell back into his angry, self-centered thinking. The Lord gave him a plant fr shade, then took it away. He was helping Jonah get out of his comfort zone. He did this first by getting him to go Ninevah, then again when he took away the shady plant. To Jonah these things looked like his personal sufferings. But in reality, God was teaching him to line up his will with Gods, be obedient to God, and to recognize his sovereignty. He was showing Jonah a better way. A way more satisfying, that would bring love and joy, rather than anger and discontent.
I have been amazed at how The Lord has been blessing me through this time of doubt and conviction. I have been like Jonah, preferring my sin over true satisfaction in Christ. But God is still drawing me to Him because he knows that is what's best for me even when I don't want it. One of my undeserved blessings is my Life Group girls. They encourage me so much and I learn so much through our discussions. On top of that, fellowship with them is wonderful! I feel so lucky to know them!
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Shout Outs
Today I was dwelling on some of the awesome people in my life and wanted to talk about them here.
The most recent would be this group of girls right here. (Plus some who aren't in this picture.) These are my Bible study girls who has been pouring sweet things into my soul for the last month. I was praying for friendships, and I'm in awe of God's grace to answer my prayer and put these girls in my life at such a perfect time. It's been great to pursue The Lord with these ladies. Looking forward to more fun adventures in the future.
The biggest blessing in my life currently would have to be my sweet room mate Sarah. I was terrified to leave home and attend a huge state school. Room mates can make the transition either more or less difficult. Sarah has been a huge support to me. She points me to Christ in everything and inspires me to work hard in school. I'm very grateful that she invested in me this year. I'm looking forward to another year with her and our new room mate Kaitlyn!
I got a phone call from my Aunt Liz last week. I was reminded of how wise she is. I wish I talked with her more regularly. I love weekend visits with her in the summer. She has imparted so much wisdom to me. I hope to be half as good a counselor as she is one day.
Laura Hough is my mentor from Olathe who's moving here to Manhattan (whoop whoop!). She has helped me through my biggest doubts, my relationships, my mess ups, and more. I have gained so much wisdom from my time with Laura. I'm so lucky to have her pouring into life. I look forward to more Route 44 Dr. Peppers with cream and book discussions!
Speaking of influential people, my parents are the bomb.com. They are so supportive, so wise, and so loving toward me. I love their servant hearts. My mom volunteers for everything, which comes back to haunt her sometimes, but she is such a joyful and generous giver. Her talents have not been wasted! I know, I take advantage of them all the time! And my dad is such a gentleman. He still brings the car around for us, takes the dog out when it's freezing, and does the dishes! I just think he's the greatest! His kindness blows my mind.
Thanks so much for pouring into my life! I listed the ones who came to mind this morning, but I know there are so many more. I'm so grateful for you.
Laura Hough is my mentor from Olathe who's moving here to Manhattan (whoop whoop!). She has helped me through my biggest doubts, my relationships, my mess ups, and more. I have gained so much wisdom from my time with Laura. I'm so lucky to have her pouring into life. I look forward to more Route 44 Dr. Peppers with cream and book discussions!
Speaking of influential people, my parents are the bomb.com. They are so supportive, so wise, and so loving toward me. I love their servant hearts. My mom volunteers for everything, which comes back to haunt her sometimes, but she is such a joyful and generous giver. Her talents have not been wasted! I know, I take advantage of them all the time! And my dad is such a gentleman. He still brings the car around for us, takes the dog out when it's freezing, and does the dishes! I just think he's the greatest! His kindness blows my mind.
Thanks so much for pouring into my life! I listed the ones who came to mind this morning, but I know there are so many more. I'm so grateful for you.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Discipline Diaries (days 4 and 5)
Yay for sunny Saturdays!
Roommate is gone for the weekend, so I slept in, took a walk through Konza Prairie Trail, watched Psych re-runs, and ate pizza for both my meals. I'm living it up for sure.
I would love to write something profound, inspiring, or at the least entertaining here. But I'm all out. I'd like to pretend that I achieve all the goals I set, that I have awesome time with God everyday, and that I live an exciting life 24/7. It's tempting to do that through social media. I don't have to post my low points, I can post all the good stuff and hope that people think I'm cooler because of it. Sadly, it takes some humility for me to even admit that. I was tempted to not post today since I have nothing super positive to share. But I dont want to hide my failures and pretend that I'm always pursuing Christ as I should be. So here's my discipline update.
My goal of discipline has lost its luster. I still think its important and a great goal. And I've kept to some of my specific goals even. But I'm not as passionate for it as I was because in the moment, my desires seem necessary. I tell myself that I could easily drink water over soda today, but I'm just choosing not to. I justify it as a mere choice, rather than a lack of discipline. In reality it's not a big deal. It's not a sin to drink soda, hit the snooze button, or procrastinate. I just don't want the habit of regularly giving into myself. I want to be a self-controlled person. I think that a mindset that can't be disciplined might be sinful.
I see the most sin in my life in this area when I think about how entitled I feel to something as unnecessary as a vanilla latte after a "long" day. It hurts when I think about my attitude and the life I live and compare it to the type of lives other people are living. After the fact, I feel so selfish that I even think the way I do. I see it as a reflection of my self-serving heart. But I'm called to serve others and see them as MORE important than myself. I see my selfishness, then I see my apathy about my selfishness and I'm disappointed. It seems to be an ongoing cycle of guilt and self- gratification.
Still working through it. I need more Holy Spirit. It's crazy how incapable we are when we rely on ourselves.
Roommate is gone for the weekend, so I slept in, took a walk through Konza Prairie Trail, watched Psych re-runs, and ate pizza for both my meals. I'm living it up for sure.
I would love to write something profound, inspiring, or at the least entertaining here. But I'm all out. I'd like to pretend that I achieve all the goals I set, that I have awesome time with God everyday, and that I live an exciting life 24/7. It's tempting to do that through social media. I don't have to post my low points, I can post all the good stuff and hope that people think I'm cooler because of it. Sadly, it takes some humility for me to even admit that. I was tempted to not post today since I have nothing super positive to share. But I dont want to hide my failures and pretend that I'm always pursuing Christ as I should be. So here's my discipline update.
My goal of discipline has lost its luster. I still think its important and a great goal. And I've kept to some of my specific goals even. But I'm not as passionate for it as I was because in the moment, my desires seem necessary. I tell myself that I could easily drink water over soda today, but I'm just choosing not to. I justify it as a mere choice, rather than a lack of discipline. In reality it's not a big deal. It's not a sin to drink soda, hit the snooze button, or procrastinate. I just don't want the habit of regularly giving into myself. I want to be a self-controlled person. I think that a mindset that can't be disciplined might be sinful.
I see the most sin in my life in this area when I think about how entitled I feel to something as unnecessary as a vanilla latte after a "long" day. It hurts when I think about my attitude and the life I live and compare it to the type of lives other people are living. After the fact, I feel so selfish that I even think the way I do. I see it as a reflection of my self-serving heart. But I'm called to serve others and see them as MORE important than myself. I see my selfishness, then I see my apathy about my selfishness and I'm disappointed. It seems to be an ongoing cycle of guilt and self- gratification.
Still working through it. I need more Holy Spirit. It's crazy how incapable we are when we rely on ourselves.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Discipline Diaries (day 3)
Not such a great day for discipline. It was a lazy, roll out of a bed, eat Nutella and watch Netflix kind of day. I stuck relatively close to my homework plan and didn't purchase anything today. But I'm slacking in the other two areas.
Not my most exciting or encouraging post, but this was my day 3 of discipline.
His mercies are new every morning! Hope day 4 is better.
Not my most exciting or encouraging post, but this was my day 3 of discipline.
His mercies are new every morning! Hope day 4 is better.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Until my knees are weak
I read Psalm 109 today. Here are my thoughts.
Appoint a wicked man against him; let an accuser stand at his right hand. When he is tried, let him come forth guilty; let his prayer be counted as sin! -Psalms 109:6, 7
It always throws me when David starts praying for the destruction of his enemies. Is it Godly to pray like that? I don't know for sure. But I noticed a few things that were encouraging and made his prayers seem more legitimate.
I noticed that he is praying for God's justice, not his own vengeance! And that is righteous as far as I know. God says that vengeance is his, not ours. We are called to be loving always. David was loving to his enemies which we see in verse four.
In return for my love they accuse me, but I give myself to prayer. -Psalms 109:4
So he's praying for justice, but he's working hard to be loving to them because that is his responsibility. And it must be hard work! I can't imagine being rewarded evil from the ones I'm showing undeserved kindness to (verse 5).
I also noticed in verse 24 how he prays.
My knees are weak through fasting; my body has become gaunt, with no fat. -Psalms 109:24
This stood out to me since one of my focuses as of late has been prayer. When he prayed, he prayed fervently. He didn't pray like I usually do, which is to throw out my request once, maybe twice, and not anticipate much from God. If my prayer is answered, then that's great! But if not, I don't pray again and I'm not usually very disappointed.
There's something to be said for being content with Gods will when it doesn't match up with mine, but I've been considering if this is the only way to pray. Maybe we should pray until our knees are weak with fasting as if we truly anticipate God to show himself to us.
We should pray for discernment so that our prayers line up with Gods heart and dig I to his word which reveals his heart to us. After that, I'm beginning to think, we need to seriously pray for big things. We need to pray for specific opportunities to share the gospel, to see God work in our days, to learn something new about God, and for God to radically change us into someone who looks more like him. That's how I pray on mission trips, but my life should be one big mission trip if I truly believe what Scripture teaches.
And if you keep reading Psalms, it'll seem like David is always praying for relief from bad guys. They're usually chasing him and trying to kill him, or just mocking him. I wonder why God didn't give him relief after a few prayers. I don't really know. But what I do know is that David kept praying, he kept loving his enemies, and he continued to rejoice in The Lord!
Let them curse, but you will bless! They arise and are put to shame, but your servant will be glad! -Psalms 109:28
He tells The Lord that he will be glad! I love that. I need to be glad when I don't see answered prayer, but I need to keep praying if I think my prayers are in line with Scripture, until my knees are week.
Appoint a wicked man against him; let an accuser stand at his right hand. When he is tried, let him come forth guilty; let his prayer be counted as sin! -Psalms 109:6, 7
It always throws me when David starts praying for the destruction of his enemies. Is it Godly to pray like that? I don't know for sure. But I noticed a few things that were encouraging and made his prayers seem more legitimate.
I noticed that he is praying for God's justice, not his own vengeance! And that is righteous as far as I know. God says that vengeance is his, not ours. We are called to be loving always. David was loving to his enemies which we see in verse four.
In return for my love they accuse me, but I give myself to prayer. -Psalms 109:4
So he's praying for justice, but he's working hard to be loving to them because that is his responsibility. And it must be hard work! I can't imagine being rewarded evil from the ones I'm showing undeserved kindness to (verse 5).
I also noticed in verse 24 how he prays.
My knees are weak through fasting; my body has become gaunt, with no fat. -Psalms 109:24
This stood out to me since one of my focuses as of late has been prayer. When he prayed, he prayed fervently. He didn't pray like I usually do, which is to throw out my request once, maybe twice, and not anticipate much from God. If my prayer is answered, then that's great! But if not, I don't pray again and I'm not usually very disappointed.
There's something to be said for being content with Gods will when it doesn't match up with mine, but I've been considering if this is the only way to pray. Maybe we should pray until our knees are weak with fasting as if we truly anticipate God to show himself to us.
We should pray for discernment so that our prayers line up with Gods heart and dig I to his word which reveals his heart to us. After that, I'm beginning to think, we need to seriously pray for big things. We need to pray for specific opportunities to share the gospel, to see God work in our days, to learn something new about God, and for God to radically change us into someone who looks more like him. That's how I pray on mission trips, but my life should be one big mission trip if I truly believe what Scripture teaches.
And if you keep reading Psalms, it'll seem like David is always praying for relief from bad guys. They're usually chasing him and trying to kill him, or just mocking him. I wonder why God didn't give him relief after a few prayers. I don't really know. But what I do know is that David kept praying, he kept loving his enemies, and he continued to rejoice in The Lord!
Let them curse, but you will bless! They arise and are put to shame, but your servant will be glad! -Psalms 109:28
He tells The Lord that he will be glad! I love that. I need to be glad when I don't see answered prayer, but I need to keep praying if I think my prayers are in line with Scripture, until my knees are week.
Discipline Diaries (day 2)
Happy Rainy Day!
Left for class this morning oblivious to the fact that it was raining. I rushed back between classes to exchange soaked loafers and wet hair for rain boots and a baseball cap. I realized how quickly I turn my wants into needs. I don't think there's anything sinful about wanting to not get wet between classes, but the amount of importance I put on it is unnatural. I take advantage of the fact that I can wear rain boots, a coat, use an umbrella, and so on.
Eighty percent of the world lives on less than $2 a day! So many people are starving right now, or dying from the heat, or getting rained on at night because they don't have good shelter. Yet I can't walk to class in a light rain because I'm a little uncomfortable. I don't think it's sinful, but I think this kind of thinking can be. It's dangerous to think you deserve to be comfortable all the time. It's dangerous if something as small as a little rain affects my ability to be glad in God always. This kind of thinking is not Christ-like because Jesus came to Earth to live an uncomfortable life leading up to the most painful and humiliating death. All for a people like me who feel entitled to their GIFTS from God, with hearts focused on themselves. It's just mind blowing to me. So that's what I dwelled on this morning as I gratified my desire for rain boots.
Now I just need to understand what to do in response to my self serving heart. Do I sell all that I have and give it to the poor? Probably. But I'm gonna take baby steps because that scares me. Something needs to change, I know that much. So I'm working on discipline to not gratify my wishes and especially not treat them as if they are necessities. I can't wait to see how God makes me less selfish and more giving, for HIS glory.
My little successes in discipline today are as follows.
I was tempted to skip my class after I'd gone back to the dorm for rain boots, but God gave me the discipline to go. Praise the Lord!
I eventually had meaningful time with God! (Took my a little while to sit down and open that life giving book, but I did it! I'll share more about that in my next post.)
I sat in Radinas (without purchasing anything!) and read part of a boring history assignment instead of rushing to lunch. Yay for productivity!
Still rocking basic hygiene.
Also! My dear friend Kaitlyn is joining me in this week of discipline! It's great to have friends who want to give their absolute best to The Lord, who will ask for accountability, and who will encourage me in my endeavors too! So excited for how The Lord will use this for his glory in both of our lives.
Left for class this morning oblivious to the fact that it was raining. I rushed back between classes to exchange soaked loafers and wet hair for rain boots and a baseball cap. I realized how quickly I turn my wants into needs. I don't think there's anything sinful about wanting to not get wet between classes, but the amount of importance I put on it is unnatural. I take advantage of the fact that I can wear rain boots, a coat, use an umbrella, and so on.
Eighty percent of the world lives on less than $2 a day! So many people are starving right now, or dying from the heat, or getting rained on at night because they don't have good shelter. Yet I can't walk to class in a light rain because I'm a little uncomfortable. I don't think it's sinful, but I think this kind of thinking can be. It's dangerous to think you deserve to be comfortable all the time. It's dangerous if something as small as a little rain affects my ability to be glad in God always. This kind of thinking is not Christ-like because Jesus came to Earth to live an uncomfortable life leading up to the most painful and humiliating death. All for a people like me who feel entitled to their GIFTS from God, with hearts focused on themselves. It's just mind blowing to me. So that's what I dwelled on this morning as I gratified my desire for rain boots.
Now I just need to understand what to do in response to my self serving heart. Do I sell all that I have and give it to the poor? Probably. But I'm gonna take baby steps because that scares me. Something needs to change, I know that much. So I'm working on discipline to not gratify my wishes and especially not treat them as if they are necessities. I can't wait to see how God makes me less selfish and more giving, for HIS glory.
My little successes in discipline today are as follows.
I was tempted to skip my class after I'd gone back to the dorm for rain boots, but God gave me the discipline to go. Praise the Lord!
I eventually had meaningful time with God! (Took my a little while to sit down and open that life giving book, but I did it! I'll share more about that in my next post.)
I sat in Radinas (without purchasing anything!) and read part of a boring history assignment instead of rushing to lunch. Yay for productivity!
Still rocking basic hygiene.
Also! My dear friend Kaitlyn is joining me in this week of discipline! It's great to have friends who want to give their absolute best to The Lord, who will ask for accountability, and who will encourage me in my endeavors too! So excited for how The Lord will use this for his glory in both of our lives.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Discipline Diaries (day 1 part 2)
{My discipline update for today was getting really long, so I split it into two parts. Here is part two which deals with the details of my day pursuing discipline.}
Last night, I prayed for God to make me disciplined and self controlled. I prayed for success in all my goals for the next day.
This morning, my rommate Sarah left early for class, which never happens. So, I started chopping up strawberries for breakfast and began singing "rise and shine and give God the glory glory" because it came into my head. Even something as small as that was God pushing me to dwell on him this morning. Then as I sat with my breakfast, I began praying aloud to God and asking him to help me again with discipline and also to teach me how to pray expectantly (which I explained in my previous post). I tried to think of something to pray for that was specific and that required God, meaning it couldn't be put aside as a mere coincidence. I struggled because I was afraid to ask for something out of the ordinary. I just felt silly. To be totally honest, I didn't trust that God would answer my prayer.
By the time I needed to leave for class, I realized that God had actually answered one of my goals for the day. I had honestly had a meaningful time with the Lord. It wasn't long, but there was conviction, there was pleading, and there was answered prayer! Even in my unbelief and distrust, God was so good to me and wanted to show me that he does answer prayer and will satisfy my desire to not only be disciplined, but also to pray expectantly.
Throughout my day so far I have been disciplined! I went to Radinas and did not purchase anything! I read my history chapter for the first time in months, along with other homework and chores. And you'll be happy to hear that my personal hygiene is great! (I'm even flossing!) I'm enjoying being aware of the big and small areas in my life which lack discipline and slowly having victory over them through Christ. I will try to do a better job of remembering those things tomorrow.
Discipline Diaries (day 1 part 1)
Happy Tuesday!
{My discipline update for today was getting really long, so I split it into two parts. Here is part one which deals with the idea of expectant prayer. Next post will be about how my day of discipline went.}
The idea of praying expectantly came up in my Bible study group last night. This idea has stuck with me since this summer when my friends got back from summer camp after hearing a great speaker teach on this. Wish I could give him credit, but I don't recall his name. In short, he explained that we shouldn't only pray expectantly on mission trips where we expect big things to happen. We need to always trust that the Lord wants to do big things in our lives every day.
One of my leaders added to this idea by reflecting on how we tend to pray safe. By this she meant that we ask God to do something, but we always end by saying something along the lines of, "but if its not your will, that's okay". At first I was slightly bothered by her comment. I thought of course we should pray with phrases like "if it is your will" because we need to be able to accept that his plans may be different than ours but they are always better. As I pondered her comment more, I realized that although it is good to not put your will above Gods, maybe we do pray too safely. Maybe we use that as an excuse to not trust that God will answer our prayers. Along with all these things, we don't pray repetitively. We don't plead with God. At least I don't. I ask for something, close with "Lord willing" and go on with my day thinking sure it'd be cool if he answered my prayer, but no matter what I know he will work things out for my good and his glory. These aren't bad thoughts, but am I limiting God's ability to work wonders in my heart and life? Am I keeping him from answering prayer by failing to truly pray and seek answered prayers?
One more example of radical prayer because these girls are so full of wisdom and I'm dying to share. Someone shared a story about a roommate of hers who had a headache. In response, this woman suggested she take an Advil. But the roommate replied, "I think I'm just gonna pray". The woman thought to herself how silly, just take an Advil! But after consideration, she realized how much trust we put in modern medicine and how little trust we put in God. Seems crazy when you think that God is the creator of everything and is able to do extraordinary things. Yet medicine is prone to fail, especially in comparison to God's perfect record.
Here's a Biblical example of expectant prayer that my sweet friend Kaitlyn brought up.
And he said, "O Lord , God of my master Abraham, please grant me success today and show steadfast love to my master Abraham. Behold, I am standing by the spring of water, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water. Let the young woman to whom I shall say, "Please let down your jar that I may drink," and who shall say, "Drink, and I will water your camels"—let her be the one whom you have appointed for your servant Isaac. By this I shall know that you have shown steadfast love to my master." (Genesis 24:12-14 ESV)
How much more trust would I need to have in The Lord to pray like this? So specific. So expectant. And if you keep reading you'll see God answered it! I want to have this attitude towards prayer.
Monday, April 8, 2013
Discipline
Hey homies!
In bible study tonight, one of my leaders, Rachel, really inspired me. She starting telling us about how she lacks discipline in her life and how quick she gives way to her desires and treats them as needs. As she spoke I remembered how often I do that. I've noticed this in my life and I've made little efforts to not satisfy my every want. Yet because I so quickly give up on self control, my strides have been mostly unsuccessful. I felt God pushing me to be greater for him, to give him more than a few minutes of resistance. I want to give him my all and be disciplined in every area of my life.
I'm also hoping that through being disciplined in my spending, God will use my extra money to bless others and bring glory to himself. I'm starting small because I am easily overwhelmed and surprise surprise... I tend to give up. I'll be praying for self control, true perspective, and opportunities to grow myself and others through this experience.
This week, my goals as of now are along the lines of...
No spending money on coffee specifically, but also not on unnecessary treats and snacks
To have meaningful time with God daily
To stick to my intended plans for school work
Washing my face twice a day, taking contacts out at night, etc.
{I feel like I'm 5 years old listing basic hygiene things, but it can be a struggle, especially once you're curled up under the covers and you remember you forgot to do something. Oh the discipline that takes to get me out of bed!}
Along with those listed above, I plan to be aware of when I'm turning wants into needs and to use discipline when I know I need it, even when it's not one of the things listed. I'll try to post updates in my week of discipline.
In bible study tonight, one of my leaders, Rachel, really inspired me. She starting telling us about how she lacks discipline in her life and how quick she gives way to her desires and treats them as needs. As she spoke I remembered how often I do that. I've noticed this in my life and I've made little efforts to not satisfy my every want. Yet because I so quickly give up on self control, my strides have been mostly unsuccessful. I felt God pushing me to be greater for him, to give him more than a few minutes of resistance. I want to give him my all and be disciplined in every area of my life.
I'm also hoping that through being disciplined in my spending, God will use my extra money to bless others and bring glory to himself. I'm starting small because I am easily overwhelmed and surprise surprise... I tend to give up. I'll be praying for self control, true perspective, and opportunities to grow myself and others through this experience.
This week, my goals as of now are along the lines of...
No spending money on coffee specifically, but also not on unnecessary treats and snacks
To have meaningful time with God daily
To stick to my intended plans for school work
Washing my face twice a day, taking contacts out at night, etc.
{I feel like I'm 5 years old listing basic hygiene things, but it can be a struggle, especially once you're curled up under the covers and you remember you forgot to do something. Oh the discipline that takes to get me out of bed!}
Along with those listed above, I plan to be aware of when I'm turning wants into needs and to use discipline when I know I need it, even when it's not one of the things listed. I'll try to post updates in my week of discipline.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Study Break
This was greatly needed before my long night of studying. This song gets me so excited about the God I have an opportunity to glorify. I belong to Jesus! My strength comes from knowing him. I can't wait to see him face to face. Until then, I'll be striving (and often failing, then striving again) to live out a life fully devoted to him, that loves what he loves, and hates what he hates. All in his strength. May he receive all the glory!
You are my Passion by Jesus Culture. Check. It. Out. Here.
You are my Passion by Jesus Culture. Check. It. Out. Here.
All the Poor and Powerless
I'm trying to post a verse very Wednesday and share my thoughts on it. My week has been crazy busy with tests, papers, homework, and quizzes. So, here it is one day late!
Over the last few weeks, The Lord has been convicting me about how little I consider the poor. It started with a discussion in my philosophy class about what we are obligated to do for the poor. Here is the augment that sparked the discussion.
1) Suffering and death from lack of food, shelter, and medical care are bad.
2) If it is in our power to prevent something bad from happening, without sacrificing anything of comparable moral significance, we ought, morally, to do it.
3) It is in our power to prevent suffering and death from lack of food, shelter, and medical care, without sacrificing anything of comparable moral significance.
4) Therefore, we ought, morally, to prevent suffering and death from lack of food, shelter, and medical care.
To explain the argument, he used an example of a man walking by a pond. The man looks to his right and sees a young boy drowning. Would it be wrong for the man to not help the drowning boy? We thought yes. It is in his power to save the boy without sacrificing much. By not saving the boy, he could keep his pants from getting wet. But is that a worthy reason? Of course not. It would be wrong of him to walk by and pay no attention as the young boy dies.
So, what's our excuse for not helping the hungry, naked, sick, and homeless? We know they are there. what would we be giving up to help them? Here are a few of the oppositions to the argument that continued to convict me.
Some have brought up that it is different if the hurting are across the world in Africa. How can we be expected to do anything for them without sacrificing ourselves? This argument is unrealistic because of technology. With technology we can help others no matter how far they may be.
Others have said that no one else is helping, so why should we be morally obligated when other people, more capable people even, could help but don't? Lets consider the drowning boy case, would it be okay for the man to not save the boy if there was a crowd of people also watching the boy drown. No, so other people don't change your obligation to help.
This discussion took a few days, so this is just the best summary I can give. But either way, it kicked my butt. I've always heard in church how we should help others and care for the poor and less fortunate. I had always perceived that duty as something extra. I wasn't obligated to help the poor, but it would be very kind of me to do so. But sitting in philosophy class, listening to a professor and students who don't love Jesus talk about how we are obligated to give up everything that we don't actually NEED to help others no matter the distance, no matter what others are doing to help, and no matter your financial standing. I was shocked at how selfish I am. As a follower of Christ, I should be sacrificing myself for others daily like Jesus did. But there I sat in philosophy class trying to think of an excuse that would get me out of this moral obligation.
Then he showed a clip from the movie Beyond Borders with Angelina Jolie. I was appalled. I sat there and pointed my fingers at the rich people in that movie and asked myself, how could someone know there is hurting and hunger in the world and do nothing? Then I realized that the rich people in that movie represent me in real life. I am fully aware of needs in many areas both local and global. Yet I spend money on food I don't finish, clothes I don't need and sometimes never even wear. In comparison to the needs in the world, I have no generosity in my body. It hurt because I wasn't realizing this for the first time. I'd seen it before. I've cried over my lack of generosity and I've cried and prayed over the poor in our world. It's only a matter of time before I forget and believe once again that I will be discontent without that $50 dress that I don't need. I feel entitled to what I have when what I have is not even mine and it is certainly not for making myself look great. I have money for the sole purpose of bringing glory to God.
Unfortunately as we switched topics in philosophy I began the process again. I put my conviction behind me and went on spending money on myself. But thank the Holy Spirit for his persistence in showing me a better way.
Three nights ago, at Bible study we read chapter 3 in the book Counterfeit Gods by Tim Keller. The chapter was on greed. It talks about how greed is so discreet and we don't see it in ourselves. I won't go into all the details, but it was a lovely time of fellowship and I knew I needed to be more generous and needed a new mindset toward money. I asked the girls to pray that I would be a generous person and that I would think of my money as a way to further Gods kingdom. That I would not only let go of the tight grip I have on my money and possessions, but that I would be bold in sharing the gospel.
I left feeling encouraged and hopeful for how God would mold my heart and use me to make others glad in God. But God wanted me to fully understand how much I had in comparison to others and how I have no reason to ever be discontent with what He's given me. In my sociology class yesterday morning, he showed me that I have every reason in the world to be generous. We discussed how the US citizen compares to citizens in other parts of the world in terms of income and wealth. We went over a lot of charts and numbers but here's one that stuck with me. The average income for a US citizen is $50,000. The average income for someone in the Congo is $347 a year! That's the lowest, but there were so many other countries with low average incomes. The US is the seventh richest nation in terms of how much income an average American makes.
On a global scale, 80% of people live on less than $2 a day! Yet I compare myself to the people around me and have the nerve to feel inadequate. I feel like I have it so rough. But God is opening my eyes to how rich I am and hopefully will be giving me opportunities to give back.
So yesterday I decided to see what the Bible says about the poor. And I found this verse!
"She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy." -Proverbs 31:20
I love this verse because I want to be her. I want to not feel entitled to anything. I want to be generous with money and possessions. I want to love serving others above myself. And I want to be content in all circumstance, not comparing myself to anyone.
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