A regular struggle for me and for most people at some point is people pleasing. I can get overly anxious about how I'm perceived. The past few weeks I've started to lose sight of my identity in Christ and tried to find it in others. I've been finding my worth in things other than God. These idols in my life that are not filling me up because they can't. So today I found a few verses that give me perspective. I needed to be reminded of where my worth is found. I need to reject the lies that creep into my mind and even more I need to fill my mind with truth and know how I can pursue the things that are worthy of being pursued.
For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart. -1 Samuel 16:7
The chapter as a whole is describing Samuel when he goes to Jesse's house to find the new king the lord has chosen. He sees a tall, strong, handsome son and thinks that is the man the Lord chose. That's where verse 7 comes in and God tells him to not judge by outward appearance because the Lord looks at the heart. So Samuel goes down the line of Jesses's sons and still hasn't found the one the Lord has chosen. Samuel asks for his youngest son who is keeping the sheep. Appearance wise, he is the least likely to be chosen for king, but God doesn't look at outward appearance. The Lord values our hearts and even intervenes in our hearts by sending his Holy Spirit. I'm learning to value what God values and not be consumed with what people value. I need perspective and I need it to change who I am, what I value, what I stress over, what I pursue, etc.
Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. -Colossians 3:2
Colossians 3 is worth checking out in its entirety. It starts by adressing believers. If you have been raised with Christ, then your life is in him. It's not found in earthly things, so dwell on heavenly things. He gives a list of earthly things: sexual imorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, covetousness, which is idolatry. Covetousness is my struggle as of late. I need to see it for what it is, an idol. It is a result of me setting my mind on earthly things, and giving them value. This false value exceeds the true value of Christ causing me to find worth in things beside Christ. I feel worthless when I don't have the earthly things I want. This has led to a lack of joy and an increase of anxiousness. I get anxiuos when I don't meet these standards I've placed on myself. Covetousness is not a characteristic of someone with new life in Christ. He gives another list of things that belong to those who have yet to recieve new life: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk. I need to check myself regularly to see if these things are in my thoughts. I need to constantly fight these things. The best way to fight these things is to fill myself with good things. He gives another list of the good things that are true of those who have found new life: compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forgiveness, and love. These are what God finds value in. These are the things that lead to fulfillment and joy. Dwelling on these things starts with being in the Word and learning what pleases God and pursuing those things.
But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. -1 Thessalonians 2:4
Even in sharing the gospel, or sharing life with people, even daily conversations, who am I pleasing? I need to do everything to the glory of God. It can be hard for me to know the difference at times. In those times I need the Holy Spirit to convict me or convict me through other people. He is always faithful to do that. I need to interact with people and desire their best interest above my own.
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. -Galatians 1:10
This is the first verse that came to mind when I realized that I wasn't finding my identity in Christ. It gives good perspective on who we are serving. If we are serving God, then we can't be people pleasers. I need to be content when people don't understand me or don't like me. My worth is in Christ and it shouldn't be a huge priority for me to make sure that everyone loves me. That's hard because in all honesty, that is a huge priority for me. Yet I also pursue Christ and I wouldn't say I'm fake with everyone. I try to be real with people. But I'm aware that it's more devastating than it should be to think that someone thinks poorly of me. It seems like I'm doing things for Christ, but I have to check my motives when I start feeling inadequate because of other's opinions. What am I truly finding worth in and who am I ultimately serving?
Do not let your adorning be external - the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear - but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. -1 Peter 3:3-4
This is one of my favorite verses. It's hard to live it out with this sinful heart, but how beautiful is this verse! The Creator of the universe doesn't hold me to the impossible standards that I put on myself. He gives me the means to be better than pretty jewelry, expensive clothes, and fancy hair. He allows me to have a gentle and quiet spirit through Jesus Christ and he values that heart so much. I'm always learning how to adorn the hidden person of my heart.
It was so good to be filled with truth today. It takes another step to let these truths be true of me. I hope that with the Holy Spirit intervening in my wayward heart, these things will be true of me and that God will recieve all the glory for anything good others see in me. I hope to find new peace when others don't see good in me, no matter if it's reasonable or not. My worth is in Christ who judges my heart.
