Life is good

I received an email from my old Bible teacher/ current pastor/ my second dad/ current match maker, Brian Hough. For two years, during December, he's been asking people to list 5 things they are currently loving. Today I was especially grateful for this email. I haven't stopped to consider my blessings in a long time. How God could continue to give to such an ungrateful, entitled heart, I will never understand. Since my list of good things in life exceeded five, I wanted to take time to really consider all the good gifts I have been enjoying lately. I also want to glorify my Father who gives these good gifts.

In no specific order, I am loving...

~ roommates, Sarah and Kaitlyn! David and Jonathan are the luckiest men on earth. They found themselves some gems. I cherish my time and late night conversations with them. 

~ snuggles. even though I'm not a touchy person, I'm thankful for my dear friends who snuggle with me and hug me when they see me. Y'all make me feel loved. Holding hands with you girls is my favorite.

~ fundraising alongside Kaitlyn. I look forward to more prayer times with her.

~ the enneagram. It's been fun to learn about everyone's personality type.

~ baking with Laura Hough. Any excuse to be with them is a good one, but this one is especially great! 

~ sending out support letters. Nothing better than busy work while watching the entire 2nd season of new girl!

~ prayer. I've learned so much about prayer, and still can't imagine grasping it. I'm loving seeing God as a loving Father who wants to give me good things. I love praying big prayers... I'm learning to at least.

~ I'm freaking going to Africa. I love that. Can't wait for fellowship with the 4 other ladies going with me!

~ land cruisers. I sure do love my Ford Escape, but I can't wait to be reunited with Rhonda in a few days. (Also can't wait for land cruiser rides in Zambia.)

~ Family Studies. Best major ever.

~ mich's help with physics. I'm passing! Appreciate the generosity and hospitality. (They give me cider and muffins over there!)

~ reunions for old memories. The first Noel watch party last week! So sweet.

~ talks with Brian and Laura about boys, marriage life, and parenting.

~ party girl donuts at varsity. I went out on a limb and tried something besides glaze and haven't looked back!

~ technology. You drive me bonkers, but you save my life daily.

~ room 118! I am loving regular knocks on the door. Please keep using our printer, eating our cookies, studying on our couch, and watching Sharknado. It makes me so happy when our room is used. It's big and comfy for a reason! Come use it!! 

~ RUF. Jon rocks my soul. Blows me away with his teaching every week. Jesus, keep speaking through him. David wrestling Rudy. Political, theological, and sociological discussions after. Dog piles on the couch. Hearing Scripture read as a group. Honest questions. Non stop laughter and learning. 

~ MPC. Thank you for pouring into me! I think you guys are awesome and I love watching how you care for your spouses and children. Getting out of the dorm and into real homes is so refreshing!

~ spotify. I'm loving finding music and making playlists.

~ toffee. I forgot how much I love it! So good. One of me favorite sweets.

~ thermal Ts from target! So warm and cute. 

~ mom. She does everything and more for me! It's unreal. Thanks for mailing me everything and sewing my Christmas gifts for the kids on my floor. I hope I'm half the mom you are one day. Thanks for teaching me self-sacrifice and generosity.

~ when Kaitlyn leaves her car out front for me so I don't have to walk to mine.

~ when I don't get a ticket for illegally parking my car.

~ counsel. Thank you to everyone who has helped me think through my living situation next year.

~ Thursday afternoons with Alex. It's humbling for sure. I just enjoy time with her. 

~ coffee. Always. (eleos brand is the best. Order online! Sumatra blend is my favorite.)

~ Nicola. It's been a joy to get to know you this semester. You teach me so much! I admire you a lot. Thanks for putting up with me being fickle about living situations.

~ supportive parents. Thanks for letting me pick where to live, and to work, and what to study, and whether or not to go to Africa for a month. It means the world!

~ breakfast and campus walks with Rudy. Without them, I would not have gone to class at 8:30am.

~ map coasters.

~ New Girl and Arrested Development. Time for a new show!

~ my dad. Thanks for giving me directions are keeping me sane all the way from Overland Park! You help me so much. Thanks for always making time for me! You make me feel special.

~ my RA Tripp, who encourages me in life and in my spiritual life. Thanks for being a great leader and helper on our floor. 

~ my Chinese friends! They are so much fun to be with! Hope to take some of them home with my over Christmas! 

~ this fall weather, during December! I love not wearing a coat!

~ Christmas lights in our room.

~ Sam Hinrichs. Missing her, but I love that she's in my life.

~ being a bridesmaid. Thanks for letting me be in your life, and your wedding, Erica! 

~ extensive lists.

Shalom

I learned what shalom meant a few years ago during a mission trip to Argentine District in Kansas City. They explained that shalom was used to explain the garden of Eden. It meant perfect. After sin, shalom was broken. We now live in a world full of sadness, pain, lost souls, false fulfillment, disease, and so on. The list never ends, sin has affected every aspect of our lives making it incapable for us to have pure relationship, pure actions, and pure thoughts. We are prone to wander from truth.

The good news is that Jesus came to restore shalom. His work was started when he died for us and gave us a way to be saved from sin. But we still live in a sinful world and we are still prone to sin. But one day he will come again, and everything bad will be gone. We will live in shalom again. Shalom more detailed means completeness, peace, rest, harmony, health, and perfectness. Knowing Jesus gives us a taste of shalom that we will one day experience in its fullness.

I love this idea of God restoring shalom. It's my main encouragement when I watch the news and hear about all the horrible things in our world because of sin. I remember that God is good and he will restore us. That doesn't mean I should throw my hands in the air and let God restore the world when he wants to. I am called to restore brokenness as best I can. 

Today in class we talked about how we don't live in a post racial society. It broke my heart to see how mistaken we are. One day God is gonna fix this. I look forward to that day. Here are some links and videos to what I saw in class today. It is not an easy problem to fix, but being ignorant to it certainly won't help.

I stole this from wired.com. They had nearly 20 maps showing how segregated our cities are. Blue dots are Whites, green dots are African Americans, red dots are Asians, orange dots are Latino, others are brown. Probably the most extreme example would be Detroit, pictured below.

Here is Atlantas map below.

I was shocked that these were not isolated cases. Clusters of whites and blacks is common across the US. Racism is built into the foundations of our society. I have never noticed it because I've never seen it. I'm surrounded by middle and high class white families, so I don't see racism. But the few African Americans in my neighborhood, or my elementary school, see racism. It's also not circumstance that many more African Americans live in lower income areas in crappier houses. I don't think they choose it as much as it's forced upon them.

Here's an example of how blacks and whites are treated differently as children. The article with it is very good also, so here is the article link with the videos. A white 7 year old and a black 7 year old both took their mom or grandmas car for a joy ride. But the white kid gets brought on the Today show and his actions are explained away as being a typical boy. The black kid has internalized the stereotypes that have been placed on him and responds differently. But this doesn't explain the cops different reactions between the two boys. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/22/media-kids-racial-stereotypes_n_3624740.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

Watch this! This video shows a white guy, a black guy, and a pretty girl each trying to steal a bike in public while admitting to what they're doing. See the different reactions!

http://www.upworthy.com/know-anyone-that-thinks-racial-profiling-is-exaggerated-watch-this-and-tell-me-when-your-jaw-drops-2

He showed us more research on the presence of racism. I don't know if this was as convincing coming from me. But I've been convinced over the last year and a half of sociology classes. These are things to at least be aware of. This gets me more excited for when God will restore all that's broken so we can live within shalom again.

Who's Kingdom are you seeking?

Last Wednesday at RUF we went through Matthew 6:19-34. This passage talks about storing up treasures in Heaven, and not being anxious about what you will wear or eat because God provides for even the birds and flowers. Here are my scattered thoughts and take aways.

Jesus is calling us to pick a side. We can't serve two masters. Living for God means giving up a sense of control. When we are getting anxious, we are anxious over the things we can't control. Jesus says we are wasting our energy because our idea of control is an illusion. 

Verse 25 says "Is not life more than food, and the body more the clothing?" We talked about how being anxious about these things and things like it reduces our life to mere food and clothing. I don't want to reduce my life to that. If that's what is most important to me, what's the point? Jesus offers a depth that I can't muster up. We don't realize how shallow we make our lives by being anxious. 

We also ack perspective. We think our lives will be over if we don't pass this test. Is that what I'm living for? I'm living for something bigger than a good grade, bigger than a college degree, bigger than a lot of money, bigger than a happy marriage, I'm living to be used for purposes too big for my mind to grasp. I live in pursuit of a joy that is impossible to attain apart from divine grace.

Birds and flowers are examples of things fully dependent on God. They are helpless. If I was that dependent on God for my basic needs, I think I'd die of an anxiety attack. Ironically, I am fully dependent on God for my basic needs and I live in an illusion of independence. God gives and God takes away. My means of providing for myself are in his hands. By faking self sufficiency, I steal God's glory and his recognition as provider. My lack of trust says God does not love me enough to give me what I need or that he is not capable of meeting my needs. It says that I know what I need better than the one who created me. 

But God is the perfect, loving provider. I am called to be holy as he is holy. I need to care for the birds and flowers in my life. Who has God put around me? Who can I encourage? Who can I provide for? How can I use the money God has given me? I treat my money like it's meant for my good. In a sense it is for my good. But my view of good is messed up. I will find deepest joy when I provide for others. In the process, I show that I trust in God more than my money to provide for me. 

Laura and I were talking the other day about how we should give and then ask for God to supply for us. Read Luke 11:5-8. Here the man offered something to his friend that he did not have, then asked his other friend to meet his needs because he had already committed to provide for this man. So God is even more willing to meet our needs when we give more than we have to be of service to others. I'm being brief, but it took me a while to understand this concept. It's encouraging though because I should be generous with the money I have and sometimes the resources I don't have. I don't plan to get in tons of debt to save the world, but I do see the value in living in a way that you need God to come through; a life with no back up plan. 

Things to think about: What do I need? What will last? Who am I relying on? Am I trying to be God or am I letting him be God? 

I won't always have everything I need. There are strong Christians who suffer daily, some without food and clothes. There may not always be provision for my body, but there will always be provision for my soul. Even if I die of thirst, I have living water so that I will never spiritually thirst. 

The passage tells us to seek first the kingdom of Heaven. When I get anxious and desire things that don't last I need to ask myself if I am building up the kingdom of Morgan or of God. The sermon on the mount points out where people are following the rules yet God isn't involved. I need to ask myself where is God? Where is he in my life, in this decision, in this anxiety? 

Revenge

Every Wednesday, we work our way further through the Sermon on the Mount. I have learned so much through Jon, both on Wednesday nights and over coffee every now and again. He is full of wisdom, great questions, and so much encouragement. It's been a blessing to have him in Manhattan pouring into so many college students.

Last Wednesday, the topic was revenge from Matthew 5:38-48. 

"An eye for an eye"

This was part of the law because people tend to escalate retaliation. If you lost an eye, you might take an arm, and instead of an arm in return, they might take your life. The law was created so that people wouldn't do worse to others than what was done to them. {throughout this sermon, Jesus starts with a piece of the law that has become a mere rule to follow, rather than an overflow of a grateful heart. He then tells them what is really expected of them.}

"If anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well"

This is an extreme statement because in that time a tunic would be comparable to an undershirt, whereas a cloak was our coat. It was not unusual for someone's cloak to be someone's blanket as well. By giving their cloak to the one who took his tunic, he is showing his faith in God to provide for him. 

"If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles"

This is referring to soldiers. Citizens were legally required to carry a soldiers stuff if he asked him to. They were only required to go one mile though. So by going a second mile on your own free will, you shows selflessness that comes from God in you.

This passage talks about all the unjust things in the world. We should respond with sacrificial love and leave God in control of making things right because he is the only one who makes the unjust just. 

All these things refer to insulting acts done toward you, but not aggressive acts. The is a time to stand up for yourself and others. But in these cases, we deal with the hurt of our pride rather than our well-being. It takes humility to not show other people up, but to let them have even more of our stuff. God calls us to a deliberate response here. We need to be intentionally humble.

I wish my notes on this passage were better. So many good things are said and I don't have time to jot them all down. But I loved studying this. Despite my incomplete notes, I hope that my life reflects what Jesus is teaching here and that the Holy Spirit will call certain things to mind when I'm faced with an opportunity to show that Jesus is The Lord of my heart and not myself. 

Grace and Freedom

It shouldn't surprise me when God answers my prayers, but it blows my mind every time. The creator of all things hears my little, pathetic voice and answers it with so much grace. Time and time again I tell Him how desperate I am for his intervention in my heart and so often it stops there. I chose temporary pleasures over time with Him and all the while I'm asking him to make himself real to me. Jesus is able to quench my thirst for him without me drinking the water he's laid in front of me, but why don't I take advantage of what he's already given? And still, he draws me to himself when I neglect him.

I do so little in this relationship. Even when I think I'm doing good things, I'm still doing nothing in comparison to what Jesus does to be in relationship with me. I often try to enslave myself to the rules again. I rely on my appearances to bring me salvation. If I do this, this, and this God will love me and others will love him too. In reality, I need to accept the gift he's given and see that I was set free to be free, not to be enslaved. I am free to come to him and be forgiven. I am redeemed by the blood of Jesus and I don't have to do anything to earn or maintain my salvation. I am learning to rejoice in that and let that be my measure of satisfaction and not what I do to somehow deserve it.

"Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven" -Luke 10:20

I am seeing my inability to do anything. I need Jesus to intervene in anything I do if I want it to have eternal significance. He chooses to work through my inability. Currently he has put a few girls in my life, some who want to know about who Jesus is and some who want to be more like him without committing to him. I'm grateful that God has allowed me to know them. I truly enjoy their friendship. Now I need Jesus to intervene in these relationships and make them about Himself. I want to read Scripture with these girls. In and of myself I can't even muster up the courage to ask them if they want to. But with the Holy Spirit at work I believe we will learn more about God together. 

I am just so excited to be known by God, claimed by Him, and used by Him to bring these girls into the same freedom I've been given. I hope to see burdens lifted and hearts healed this year.

Instagram Favorites pt. 2

Some of my favorite instagrams all in one place!

Posted by { cameracaleb } on October 19th, 2013.

I want to be in the mounatins. Take me camping please! It's a rad shot from behind with the fantastic landscape out of focus. And black and white. What's not to love?
P.S. There are so many good shots on instagram, this is the first time I've looked in a few weeks. I finally divided my instagram accounts into a personal and "professional" one. Hopefully this will help me keep these updated.

 

Posted by { brianhough } on September 5th, 2013.

This is Laura! Laura has been my mentor for about 5 years. She is so much fun and so full of wisdom. She stuck with me through my awkward and naive teenage years and has helped me grow in wisdom and maturity. I aspire to be able to pour into a young girl's heart the way Laura has poured into mine, and to live a life poured out for others. I'll never stop learning from and being inspired by her.

Posted by { djaeoutlaw } on August 31st, 2013.

Sunflower Saturday. 

Thoughts on Daniel

Today me and a fellow intern gave a sermon on Daniel to the high schoolers at OBC. It was a learning experience to see all the time and study that goes into preparing a sermon. Pastor Mike told us at the beginning of the summer that we shouldn't give a sermon unless it's grabbed our heart first. The story of Daniel definitely grabbed my heart. Daniel was a young man filled with purpose who remained faithful to God in the small things and the big things and in the end was used by God in big ways. I want to be more like Daniel, but it's easier said than done.

Here's a brief summary of our sermon so you know where I'm coming from. 

Daniel 1

Background: Judah has been captured by Babylon (king Nebuchadnezzar) and so Daniel (plus shadrack, meshak, and abendego) are living as exiles in babylon. They are the best and brightest young men of Judah so they are treated well and the king feeds them his food and wine (but Jewish law prohibits this food and wine because some of it was sacrificed to idols. It's complicated old Jewish law that I'm glad I don't need to live under because of Jesus.) Daniel chose not to eat the food so as not to weaken his testimony and to stay faithful to God in every way. POINT ONE: Live to a higher standard (God's standard) and not the worlds. 

When Daniel asked the chief over him if he could eat veggies instead, the chief was afraid the king would kill them both. When we live to higher standards, we probably won't need to worry about getting our head chopped off (although it's a possibility), we will be faced with being rejected or even being blamed for being intolerant and judgmental merely because we choose to not participate in certain activities or entertain ourselves the same way as the world. POINT TWO: When you live to higher standards, you will face opposition and trials. (James 1:2-4 & 1 Peter 4:12-14)

Later, God rewards all 4 of them with skill and knowledge. But Daniel specifically id given the ability to interpret visions and dreams. Because Daniel stepped up and led the way for his friends, God rewarded him with more responsibility. In Matthew 25 in the Parable of the Talents, the Master says to his servants who invested their money well, "Well done good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little, so i will set you over much." Being faithful in the little things goes hand in hand with living to a higher standard. POINT THREE: If we commit to living God's way, he promises us a reward. One reward is the gift of more responsibility. We will be given the chance to make an eternal impact on others and maybe even leave a legacy like Daniels. In Corinthians 3 we see the effects of both living fully for God and living half heartedly. It's a powerful text because Paul's not referring to unbelievers. He is comparing Christians who are saved by the blood of Christ.

This passage was very convicting and eye opening to me. Convicting in that I see many areas where I'm not doing things wrong, but I'm not giving my best for Christ. Most of these areas have seemingly no effect on others around me, but I know they are affecting the level of intimacy I have with Christ and the level of responsibility I receive from the Lord and there is probably more that I don't see. 

It was eye opening to read 1 Corinthians 3 and realize that it doesn't stop at salvation. The glory of God is at stake and the way I live my life determines how much I am able to join with Christ in his work. I may be saved but will my life have eternal significance beyond that or will I barely get to Heaven like one just "escaping the flames". 

Living to higher standards in the little things that no one will ever see is hard. For me it may look like not eating a whole thing of Cherry Garcia because my body is a temple, or not listening to a sing that will not draw me closer to Christ even though I'm really in the mood for it, or not speeding when no one is around, or being careful to monitor my thoughts, or to be disciplined in having meaningful time with God every day- and not just checking it off but studying God's Word and memorizing it! That's only what came to my mind first. The list goes on and it's so much easier to be content with the slow and steady pace of growth I'm currently in. I'm still saved, I still desire to grow, but do I want to be the very best I can for Christ and for others who could come to know Christ through me. It's unsettling and I know failure is inevitable. I'm hoping the Holy Spirit doesn't give up on this wayward heart.