Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! (Matthew 7:9-11 ESV)
Today my dad showed me a glimpse of how my Heavenly Father feels about me. Today was rough for me, not because of some big event, just feeling lonely. I rode with my dad to lunch and started crying. He immediately turned off the music so he could really listen to me, he asked questions and shared his stories with me. After lunch, he called me into his office. He had printed a sheet for me with some information about the type 6 personality type (we are both sixes).
It explained how our biggest fear is abandonment. We try to rely on other things to get us through; we create our own security for our anxieties. We lack confidence in ourselves. When our method of security falls apart, so do we. My security was falling apart this week. I got back from a week in New Orleans and felt distant from the other interns. I knew the internship was coming to an end soon and abandonment was on its way. On top of that, the high schoolers I enjoyed in New Orleans aren't as inviting on Sunday morning. I had lost my ability to keep up a quality conversation; my interactions felt forced and awkward. My conduct in social situations is my security. My breaking point came when I found out the girl I had asked to mentor wasn't interested in being mentored by me anymore.
My dad wanted me to know my feelings were normal and that he had felt them too. With time he learned to overcome the anxiety and find his worth in Christ, not the approval of others. On the sheet he also put Philippians 4:11-13, " I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through him who gives me strength."
My dad teared up as he explained that to me. My dad desires to give me good things, it hurts him to see me hurting. He desires relationship with me. If my earthly dad knows me and all my faults, yet still loves me in this way, how much more does my heavenly father desire to give me good things? I still have studying to do on the subject because something is missing. But from what I learned today, it's very possible that God answers my prayers. Maybe he even answers my prayers out of his desire to give me good things. That blows my mind! I'll never understand why God cares about me, but I'm seeking the day I understand with certainty that He does.
Thank you dad for being the best example of the relationship between God and his children. It means the world to be known by you, to know I'll never be abandoned by you, and to be able to share everything with you. Thanks for loving me the way you do. It's just a bonus that we have nearly identical personality types. It's a blessing to be understood by you; most times you understand me better than I do. Today was one of those times. All I knew was it hurt, I didn't know why. Now I know why and I have Scripture to encourage me to be content always.
