Instagram Favorites pt. 2

Some of my favorite instagrams all in one place!

Posted by { cameracaleb } on October 19th, 2013.

I want to be in the mounatins. Take me camping please! It's a rad shot from behind with the fantastic landscape out of focus. And black and white. What's not to love?
P.S. There are so many good shots on instagram, this is the first time I've looked in a few weeks. I finally divided my instagram accounts into a personal and "professional" one. Hopefully this will help me keep these updated.

 

Posted by { brianhough } on September 5th, 2013.

This is Laura! Laura has been my mentor for about 5 years. She is so much fun and so full of wisdom. She stuck with me through my awkward and naive teenage years and has helped me grow in wisdom and maturity. I aspire to be able to pour into a young girl's heart the way Laura has poured into mine, and to live a life poured out for others. I'll never stop learning from and being inspired by her.

Posted by { djaeoutlaw } on August 31st, 2013.

Sunflower Saturday. 

Thoughts on Daniel

Today me and a fellow intern gave a sermon on Daniel to the high schoolers at OBC. It was a learning experience to see all the time and study that goes into preparing a sermon. Pastor Mike told us at the beginning of the summer that we shouldn't give a sermon unless it's grabbed our heart first. The story of Daniel definitely grabbed my heart. Daniel was a young man filled with purpose who remained faithful to God in the small things and the big things and in the end was used by God in big ways. I want to be more like Daniel, but it's easier said than done.

Here's a brief summary of our sermon so you know where I'm coming from. 

Daniel 1

Background: Judah has been captured by Babylon (king Nebuchadnezzar) and so Daniel (plus shadrack, meshak, and abendego) are living as exiles in babylon. They are the best and brightest young men of Judah so they are treated well and the king feeds them his food and wine (but Jewish law prohibits this food and wine because some of it was sacrificed to idols. It's complicated old Jewish law that I'm glad I don't need to live under because of Jesus.) Daniel chose not to eat the food so as not to weaken his testimony and to stay faithful to God in every way. POINT ONE: Live to a higher standard (God's standard) and not the worlds. 

When Daniel asked the chief over him if he could eat veggies instead, the chief was afraid the king would kill them both. When we live to higher standards, we probably won't need to worry about getting our head chopped off (although it's a possibility), we will be faced with being rejected or even being blamed for being intolerant and judgmental merely because we choose to not participate in certain activities or entertain ourselves the same way as the world. POINT TWO: When you live to higher standards, you will face opposition and trials. (James 1:2-4 & 1 Peter 4:12-14)

Later, God rewards all 4 of them with skill and knowledge. But Daniel specifically id given the ability to interpret visions and dreams. Because Daniel stepped up and led the way for his friends, God rewarded him with more responsibility. In Matthew 25 in the Parable of the Talents, the Master says to his servants who invested their money well, "Well done good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little, so i will set you over much." Being faithful in the little things goes hand in hand with living to a higher standard. POINT THREE: If we commit to living God's way, he promises us a reward. One reward is the gift of more responsibility. We will be given the chance to make an eternal impact on others and maybe even leave a legacy like Daniels. In Corinthians 3 we see the effects of both living fully for God and living half heartedly. It's a powerful text because Paul's not referring to unbelievers. He is comparing Christians who are saved by the blood of Christ.

This passage was very convicting and eye opening to me. Convicting in that I see many areas where I'm not doing things wrong, but I'm not giving my best for Christ. Most of these areas have seemingly no effect on others around me, but I know they are affecting the level of intimacy I have with Christ and the level of responsibility I receive from the Lord and there is probably more that I don't see. 

It was eye opening to read 1 Corinthians 3 and realize that it doesn't stop at salvation. The glory of God is at stake and the way I live my life determines how much I am able to join with Christ in his work. I may be saved but will my life have eternal significance beyond that or will I barely get to Heaven like one just "escaping the flames". 

Living to higher standards in the little things that no one will ever see is hard. For me it may look like not eating a whole thing of Cherry Garcia because my body is a temple, or not listening to a sing that will not draw me closer to Christ even though I'm really in the mood for it, or not speeding when no one is around, or being careful to monitor my thoughts, or to be disciplined in having meaningful time with God every day- and not just checking it off but studying God's Word and memorizing it! That's only what came to my mind first. The list goes on and it's so much easier to be content with the slow and steady pace of growth I'm currently in. I'm still saved, I still desire to grow, but do I want to be the very best I can for Christ and for others who could come to know Christ through me. It's unsettling and I know failure is inevitable. I'm hoping the Holy Spirit doesn't give up on this wayward heart. 

Like Father Like Father

Lately I've been struggling with the idea if prayer. How does God's sovereignty fit in with prayer? If God decides what will happen beforehand, do my prayers really matter? Does God listen and desire to answer my prayers?

Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! (Matthew 7:9-11 ESV)

Today my dad showed me a glimpse of how my Heavenly Father feels about me. Today was rough for me, not because of some big event, just feeling lonely. I rode with my dad to lunch and started crying. He immediately turned off the music so he could really listen to me, he asked questions and shared his stories with me. After lunch, he called me into his office. He had printed a sheet for me with some information about the type 6 personality type (we are both sixes).

It explained how our biggest fear is abandonment. We try to rely on other things to get us through; we create our own security for our anxieties. We lack confidence in ourselves. When our method of security falls apart, so do we. My security was falling apart this week. I got back from a week in New Orleans and felt distant from the other interns. I knew the internship was coming to an end soon and abandonment was on its way. On top of that, the high schoolers I enjoyed in New Orleans aren't as inviting on Sunday morning. I had lost my ability to keep up a quality conversation; my interactions felt forced and awkward. My conduct in social situations is my security. My breaking point came when I found out the girl I had asked to mentor wasn't interested in being mentored by me anymore.

My dad wanted me to know my feelings were normal and that he had felt them too. With time he learned to overcome the anxiety and find his worth in Christ, not the approval of others. On the sheet he also put Philippians 4:11-13, " I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through him who gives me strength."

My dad teared up as he explained that to me. My dad desires to give me good things, it hurts him to see me hurting. He desires relationship with me. If my earthly dad knows me and all my faults, yet still loves me in this way, how much more does my heavenly father desire to give me good things? I still have studying to do on the subject because something is missing. But from what I learned today, it's very possible that God answers my prayers. Maybe he even answers my prayers out of his desire to give me good things. That blows my mind! I'll never understand why God cares about me, but I'm seeking the day I understand with certainty that He does. 

Thank you dad for being the best example of the relationship between God and his children. It means the world to be known by you, to know I'll never be abandoned by you, and to be able to share everything with you. Thanks for loving me the way you do. It's just a bonus that we have nearly identical personality types. It's a blessing to be understood by you; most times you understand me better than I do. Today was one of those times. All I knew was it hurt, I didn't know why. Now I know why and I have Scripture to encourage me to be content always. 

NOLA Saturday (the drive home)

1:33pm- Today has not gone as planned... This kind of thing has become more regular for us than things happening on schedule. Flex n Flow. Today we pulled out a little late around 8:30. I ride in the bat-mobile (black van). Our van leads the group. Dusty, the OBC youth pastor, was driving. A cop car swings in front of and we swerve to not hit him. We keep driving, and realize that the vans behind us weren't as successful. Two cops had stopped on the highway to help a minivan on the side of the road. Our drivers tried to stop, swerved, and kind of ran into each other. I don't understand the details, it was just a pile up. Everyone was fine! God's hand was on us for sure. Just like God's hand is on us always.

We waited anxiously in the black van as they got everything sorted out. Since the cops kind of caused the accident, they were in a convenient location to help us get everything sorted out.

We are grateful for Mark, the first driver behind us who swerved, because without that action, things would've been worse. The back doors won't open in the cargo van but it's good enough to drive home. The white passenger van wasn't good enough to drive home so we rented 2 cars for the white van kids. 

Here's the cool part of the story where I saw God redeem a seemingly frustrating and scary situation. We went back to the hotel to wait on the leaders who were working everything out and renting new transportation. We sat in the outside breakfast area. Some of the sophomore boys along with their leaders, Spencer and Ian (and fellow KSU sophomores), presenting a great idea. They expressed their disappointment that we didn't have time during the week to have a night of worship, prayer, and communion like OBC usually does. They said we have time now, so lets sing a few songs, get in groups to pray, and we have bagels and grape juice for communion. Phil Sperling, a sophomore boy, stood up and told a story about a conversation he and a leader were having just that morning. They were trying to figure out a way to squeeze in some worship and communion. They couldn't figure anything out! The leader said, " I feel like we will have a flat tire or something, maybe God will make time for us." It was so cool to hear that story as we were all gathered together with hours to kill before we could get back on the road. God had made time for something far more important and eternally significant than arriving in KC before 7pm. 

I loved seeing the leadership in those boys! They saw an opportunity and seized it! I was pleasantly surprised. They displayed their love for God despite circumstances. It was cool to see them esteeming God so highly. He deserves it, and I'm glad these boys saw that and passionately pursued that. They made Jesus look great and ourselves look less. It blessed me a lot. It got even better though! After that time, some students wanted to continue worshipping God. So they sat down and began to sing, the group grew, Spencer joined in with his guitar and we worshipped for at least 30 extra minutes. It was beautiful. These kids have given their hearts over to Jesus. Their actions reflect that. God has gifted many of them with leadership as well. It's awesome! I can't wait for some of the seniors to be living by me at KSU soon! I'm blessed to know them and grateful for their fellowship. I wish I could do this internship forever. 

We eventually left for lunch and we left for OBC around 1:00pm. We should get in between 11 and 12 tonight.

3:51pm- We just made our first stop at a gas station. A woman smoking outside heard us talking about vbs and our mission trip and she motioned me over to her. Her name escapes me but it started with A. She asked for my name and then started telling me about her son steven who is a schizophrenic. A was asking me to pray for him and that he could be closer to her (he's 45 minutes away) because she never sees him. She told me her daughter doesn't have a relationship with her. Her husband died last year and her parents have died in the last 5 years. Her husband was her rock. She has health problems and feels so lost right now and misses him praying for her. She works at the gas station. I asked if I could pray for her there. She tossed her cigarette and grabbed my hands. She cried through our prayer.

{Dear Lord, thank you for answering my prayers and giving me opportunities and the words to speak. I've been able to pray for people who I wouldn't usually be praying for. I felt her looking at us and I felt a push to talk to her but I just smiled and nodded my head if she said something. Thank you Lord for fulfilling your plans for my day even when I worked against them. I'm so grateful for your intervention in our lives. It's all because of you that she approached me. Grow me so that I can seize opportunities rather than needing them baby fed to me.}

--Prayer for A--

{Heal all the hurt in A's heart. I ask that you would do miraculous things in her life! I know you are able. So I ask you to heal her son, mend their relationship, mend the relationship between A and her daughter. Comfort A and give her strong people around her to lift her up. Ease the pain of loneliness with the joy of your salvation and companionship.} 

8:15pm- We are just now leaving braums in Springfield! We have 3 more hours until we get to OBC. I've slept through very loud music in a passenger seat. I'm so tired that I can't help but fall asleep. I don't make a decision to sleep, it just happens. I finished Alter Ego! I'm gonna leave Job and Rule of Life for tomorrow. I have a long to do list for this week. Looking forward to being productive and hanging with some cool cats!

NOLA Friday

4:18pm- I wrote a long piece of this post this morning and apparently didn't save it, so I guess I needed to dwell on it some more. This won't be near as thorough as the prior post but I'll re-write my thoughts.

Today is day 1 of the ride home. We left at 9:00am and will be getting in in about 15 minutes! My word today is discipline because I need to get a lot done in the car. I slept most of the way to New Orleans, so I'm making up for that. I need to read 4 chapters in Alter Ego, 2 in Rule of Life, and I need to study Job. So far, I've read 3 chapters of Alter Ego (with a few naps in between). I plan to do rule of life tomorrow and I just don't feel alert or focused enough to study Job in a van with 8 high schoolers. I did manage to update my car playlist. And on the way here I named my ford escape. Her name is dory! Because of dory's line about the word "escape" in finding nemo. And she looks like a dory, so it works great! So, I've had successes and failures with my word today. My goal is to at least have Jesus time tonight, whether it's Job or something else. I also want to finish my last Alter Ego chapter. Tomorrow I'll need some dramamine which will make me sleepy, so we will see how much I can get done. 

5:17pm- We made it to Memphis! We are hanging out until pizza gets here in 30 minutes, and then we are headed to a place with go carts and the like. Looking forward to another fun night with these kids. I love how they interact with everyone no matter what grade they're in! Things have changed from when I was in high school. I'm hoping to get together with everyone from the trip to see despicable me 2 next Saturday! So excited!

11:28pm- Erica, Spencer, and I discussed Alter Ego which was about honoring others and being grateful. It was really good! I posted about it earlier but didn't save it, so I'll post something tomorrow. We also started planning the highschool girls night and boys night. I'm so excited! I hope a bunch of kids come cause it'll be so fun! We are gonna plan the senior night this week. Spencer and I are planning more of our sermon (which is in 2 weeks) this week as well! I'm excited to talk on Daniel.

Duing dinner, the seniors each got up for a minute or two and gave the under classmen advice. It was really Biblical and wise. It made me tear up to see you shining through them. They are all so great and love the Lord! I'm excited to hang out with the few who will be attending K-State next year! I want to pursue unbelievers next year as my number one priority because it's so difficult for me, after that I want to reach out to these new freshman from OBC, and then my friend grouo from HCA an my Christian challenge girls! Can't wait for next year and I'm praying for the Holy Spirit to work in me and give me boldness and joy that doesn't get wear off. I need lots of discipline so I can fill up, then lots of grace to be able and willing to pour out. I'm excited because I know there's potential for this life of mine to bring others to a deeper relationship with you or maybe start one that was never there. And you will receive all the glory because I know it's nothing in me and I will make sure everyone else knows that it's Jesus alone that brings good things. I'm pumped to have a great support team behind me, especially my intern folk at KSU, Spencer and Sam. 

Tonight was so fun! We went to an arcade that also had bumper boats and go carts. For the first hour or so, Spencer, Erica, Ian and I taled about Alter Ego at a picnic table outside the arcade. Once we went inside, we played lots of ski ball and other arcade games and got 1757 tickets as a group of 4 mostly contributing, but we had 6 of us running around together at the end- Corey, Erica, Matt, Nicole, Ian, and me. We got chinise finger traps, little ninjas, hats, big sunglasses, candy, swords, etc. I learned that Erica really likes arcades and I love that about her! So much fun. I love being with people when they're doing something they enjoy. Everyone was so smiley and happy! Erica was really lucky in the games too, and I was the furthest thing from it. In a few tries she landed in the 75 and 25 ticket slots and in 6 tries I totally about 10 tickets. It was really funny.

Can't wait to be home! (It's bittersweet cause I'll miss living with these highschoolers too.) Goodnight homies! 

NOLA Thursday

11:33pm- It's late and I need to get some sleep but I really want to joy down some thoughts because today was great and profound. Specifically A team time was wonderful. These girls are so open and so willing to support one another without any judgement. So I'm just gonna sporadically share my experiences tonight because I don't want to forget them!

Some big take aways:

Don't judge others or ride them off. Remember that everyone has a story and everyone hurts and struggles. This hit me hard when one of the girls I had written off as just unhappy and not really worth investing in because she would always act unhappy said she struggles with severe depression. She was working on finding balance this week. Even if it doesn't appear to make a difference, it wouldn't have done any damage to talk to her or smile at her even if I got little in return. It hurts me because I didn't just neglect to do those things, I also thought she was at fault for not being more energetic. I viewed every action of hers as a premeditated choice to be unhappy. There's more to depression than that. I know this from experience and yet it never crossed my mind that maybe there's more going on behind the scene.

I was reminded that we are role models. Chances are someone is watching me. Chances are someone admires me and wants to be like me. I don't mean to sound vain; that's not what this is about. It's a true thing that we neglect so often. Tonight, a girl said that she would rate herself a 4 on a 1-10 scale for how well she is serving God. And this girl is seriously amazing! Her faith is way stronger than mine was, she is always smiling, she is disciplined in devotions, she works very hard to be holy like Christ and it's very evident. She is the kind of girl who struggles with selfish thoughts on occasion but her actions exude selflessness, that kind of thing. A few girls offer her some encouragement to not beat herself up for not being perfect because she is exactly what God wants her to be and to be careful not to insult what God so carefully and beautifully created. Then one girl who is usually quiet starts to cry before she hardly begins to speak. She told the first girl who rated herself a 4 that she was her role model and that she wanted to be just like her. She said, "You wake up early to work out, so I want to do the same. You talk to new people at lunch, so I want to do the same." She said it hurts to hear her beat herself up so much because she looks up to her so much. That moment was so so powerful, I cried watching it. This girl who beats herself up reminds me of myself at times and it was so good to hear everyone's advice to her. People are watching and I need to be sure they see Jesus in me and not myself. 

We have another girl who has been real straight up and open about the two-faced stuff in her life. She said she feels guilty around this group of girls because they are all fighting sin instead of just recognizing that it's there and it's wrong. I hope she will remember that and everything else she's learned when she gets home. I hope she actively fights sin in her life and remembers that she is not alone. We all struggle and a lot of us struggle with the same things! My goal is to keep up with her and be her accountability. I need to get her number tomorrow! Looking forward to this opportunity and praying that God will give me perseverance. I can give up on people who aren't growing or changing, but I want to be more diligent in my disciple making and more like Jesus. Jesus never gave up on me, he won't give up on her, so I pray I won't either. 

Personally, I am learning balance in a lot of areas. If I were to give a theme to my life, it would be balance. It is the word I have prayed over the most. I have prayed for it on and off through different situations and for a long period of time. I've prayed for a sense of balance since 6th grade at least, if not earlier! I am learning how to approach mission trips in general, how to serve others, how to worship with the church, how to be one person all the time and also adapt to situations, and so much more. I've heard arguments against certain ways of doing ministry or certain ways of worshipping and I'm having to take all the things I've heard and take out the bad, put in the good, and recognize the negotiable/neutral. 

Remember to be grateful always, and be thankful that you are alive. That's something I've learned from the people of New Orleans. 

One more random note. A student said this tonight and I loved it. "Passion is powerful and it makes a difference." I'm striving to live a more passionate life.

NOLA Wednesday

2:01pm- This morning we worked on the community garden. It is really coming along! I had so much fun serving with the high schoolers. I met some I hadn't really met yet and I got to know other kids even better. It brings me so much joy to be with these kids! They have great attitudes and serve selflessly. We had sandwiches for lunch. Now I'm staying back at New Birth where we eat and do vbs. I'm helping Erica, Spencer, and Ian prepare dinner for nearly 100 people. We are making pasta bake, salad, and garlic bread. 

My word for today is endurance. I need to keep pushing through my temptation to complain, be unloving, or be lazy. It's going well! My irritability level is still pretty low which is great!

11:29pm- This is a random highlight/insight into my day. Earlier as I was walking up to my room, a high schooler who I met on this trip waved at me and said, "hey Morgan!!". Being called by name is a big deal to me. I love feeling known by people. It makes me feel really special. I've been getting that feeling all week! Kids asking me to sit by them, calling my name, or some other thing they do to make me feel known and appreciated has been awesome. I love feeling connected to these kids, I love watching them serve and grow. I wish I used my time better and filled out more encouragement cards for them! I wish I could better express how much I appreciate them! I really do think they're wonderful! 

11:36pm- Before making dinner, we watched the movie Fireproof, just the 4 of us. It was fun! The movie was cheesy but worth watching for sure. Making dinner was so much fun! Erica is so sweet and such a great encourager. I loved how she let me do things for her even though it took a lot longer to show me the right way to do it and it just took longer in general. But i had so much fun and she was so encouraging to me always telling me it looked great! It was cool to watch her and Spencer cook! It's kinda mesmerizing. I just enjoy it. And it was delicious of course! During vbs, we cleaned the kitchen really well. That was fun and it was nice to work slow and take a break. We sat around and talked a lot. A teams went well tonight. It was cool to have Christina be so open about her life and I look forward to praying for herthis  summer.

Tomorrow my word will be reflect because I want to focus on focusing on God and what he's doing, and how it affects me now and in the future, etc.